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Let these funny Strain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day,
if I did not laugh I should die.
- Abraham Lincoln
There are choirs singing in your head.
If you listen, you will hear the music.
It is the song of angels.
Pay no attention to the sounds of the world.
They are just noises, and even when
added up all together
they have no value, make no sense.
Strain to hear the song of angels.
Listen to the melody within your soul.
- Neale Donald Walsch
The fibers of all things have their tension
and are strained like the strings of an instrument.
- Henry David Thoreau
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare
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Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
- Lao Tzu
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts
A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Deep in my heart I'm concealing things
that I'm longing to say.
Scared to confess what I'm feeling -
frightened you'll slip away.
- the movie Evita
In a separation it is the one
who is not really in love
who says the more tender things.
- Marcel Proust
If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
- Thomas Edison
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them.
- Alan Watts
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
You will do foolish things,
but do them with enthusiasm.
- Colette
"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You will always have habits -
things you do regularly and without conscious thought -
but you do have the ability to CHOOSE your habits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.