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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Story Quotes
Funny Quotes about Story

Let these funny Story Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I Watch Wondrous Cloud Animals Parade My Story.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest obstacle to a Joyful Life
is your "story" about your life.
Your story is filled with perceives needs and obligations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis

For everything observed or experienced,
each of us creates a "story" - not sometimes, but always.
A "story" is the fiction a person tells themselves
about what has happened or is happening.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

I choose to create a joyful story in THIS moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

Story is a sacred visualization,
a way of echoing experience.
- Terry Tempest Williams

Today is my day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade my story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade your story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sharpen your pencil as you create the story of your life.
Ask today as you consider the many choices in your view -
what is the highest and best use
of your talents, skills and abilities?
When you answer that,
seize the opportunity to sharpen those qualities
even more sharply by applying your focused effort.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My diary is a mirror telling the story of a dreamer who,
a long long time ago went through life the way one reads a book.
- Anais Nin

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

The world just IS, and we all have our stories about it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am merely a bit player in your stories,
as you are merely a bit player in mine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our stories are the window to our emotions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you follow the trail of your own
enthusiastically repeated stories,
you will begin to rediscover the things
that invigorate and enliven you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I forgive myself completely for having created stories of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely
for having created stories of suffering.
I forgive myself for all
my angers, resentments, jealousies,
and all the other emotions of suffering.
I have unbounded compassion for myself
at all times and under all circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

I confessed recently to an old friend,
"I realized I was looking at you,
in your visit, through old glasses.
Speaking old words.
Telling old stories.
I realize that in my life I've made so many
physical changes and I need to give my spirit time to catch up."
Time for my spirit to look at my friend
through the new glasses of current life experiences.
Old friends are precious.
They become even more treasured when they are wrapped
in the currentness of life experiences
and not relegated to the past in which they once lived.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

Anger is an acid that can do more harm
to the vessel in which it is stored
than to anything on which it is poured.
- Mark Twain

What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

Know that where there is love, nothing is missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen

Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We ourselves feel that what we are doing
is just a drop in the ocean.
But the ocean would be less
because of that missing drop.
- Mother Teresa

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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