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Let these funny Stir Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer 
And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born
it compels humility: what we began is now its own.
- Margaret Mead
Stirred awake by the exquisite music
of my own relentless commitment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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Without stirring abroad,
One can know the whole world;
Without looking out of the window,
One can see the way of heaven.
The further one goes, The less one knows.
- Lao Tzu
Because we fear the responsibility for our actions,
we have allowed ourselves to develop the mentality of slaves.
Contrary to the stirring sentiments of the Declaration of Independence,
we now pledge "our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor"
not to one another for our mutual protection, but to the state,
whose actions continue to exploit, despoil, and destroy us.
- Butler D. Shaffer
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill
We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.
- Edward R. Murrow
I have never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
We are for the most part more lonely
when we go abroad among men
than when we stay in our chambers.
A man thinking or working is always alone,
let him be where he will.
- Henry David Thoreau
At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected?
I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us.
It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot,
we must ourselves be its author and finisher.
As a nation of freemen, we must live
through all time, or die by suicide.
- Abraham Lincoln
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
Don't make assumptions.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)
Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.