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Let these funny School Life Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
If you are over 30, get out your high-school yearbook
and look for ideas you can apply today -
perhaps an innocent optimism about life -
perhaps a hobby you loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
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There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
The philosophy of the school room in one generation
will be the philosophy of government in the next.
- Abraham Lincoln
Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Education is what remains after one has forgotten
what one has learned in school.
- Albert Einstein
I left the "eye for an eye" God
when I walked out of Bible school,
but God Within is a daily part of my personal experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
In this outward and physical ceremony,
we attest once again to the inner
and spiritual strength of our Nation.
As my high school teacher, Miss Julia Coleman, used to say:
"We must adjust to changing times,
and still hold to unchanging principles."
- Jimmy Carter
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.