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Let these funny Russia Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
- Winston Churchill
We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
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The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I confessed recently to an old friend,
"I realized I was looking at you,
in your visit, through old glasses.
Speaking old words.
Telling old stories.
I realize that in my life I've made so many
physical changes and I need to give my spirit time to catch up."
Time for my spirit to look at my friend
through the new glasses of current life experiences.
Old friends are precious.
They become even more treasured when they are wrapped
in the currentness of life experiences
and not relegated to the past in which they once lived.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.