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Let these funny Quotations Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Quotations are dead unless a spur for inquiry.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman
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Quotations are slippery things, really.
A brief sentence or phrase, often repeated -
always completely out of its original context -
and sometimes not an accurate representation
of the author's original words, let alone his intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests,
and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
- Helen Keller
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong
The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda
There is no such thing as a lovers' oath.
- Plato
The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
- Bertrand Russell
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain
Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do the thing you fear,
and death of fear is certain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror
which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
- Albert Einstein
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
The only thing that makes life possible
is permanent, intolerable uncertainty;
not knowing what comes next.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.
- Socrates
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities
and the responsibility that we all had.
It wasn't the answer.
It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
- John Lennon
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.