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Funny Progress Quotes
Funny Quotes about Progress

Let these funny Progress Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

I was taught that the way of progress
is neither swift nor easy.
- Marie Curie


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The best road to progress is freedom's road.
- John F. Kennedy

All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
- Henry Ford


 

Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

The natural progress of things is for liberty
to yield and government to gain ground.
- Thomas Jefferson

Social progress can be measured
by the social position of the female sex.
- Karl Marx
(German philosopher and political economist
whose ideas are credited as the foundation of modern communism)

We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If virtue promises happiness, prosperity and peace,
then progress in virtue is progress in each of these
for to whatever point the perfection of anything brings us,
progress is always an approach toward it.
- Epictetus

Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

I believe in intuition and inspiration.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world,
stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.
- Albert Einstein

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung

False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science,
for they often endure long; but false views,
if supported by some evidence, do little harm,
for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
- Charles Darwin

Measures must always, in a progressive society,
be held superior to men, who are after all,
imperfect instruments, working for their fulfillment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man is a method, a progressive arrangement; a selecting principle,
gathering his like to him; wherever he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.
- Charles Darwin

The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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