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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Programs Quotes
Funny Quotes about Programs

Let these funny Programs Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A nation that continues year after year
to spend more money on military defense
than on programs of social uplift
is approaching spiritual doom.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel


 

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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