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Funny Problem Solving Quotes
Funny Quotes about Problem Solving

Let these funny Problem Solving Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem.
It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
- Albert Einstein

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken


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Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon

I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell


 

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

If your only tool is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

If the only tool you have is a hammer,
you tend to see every problem as a nail.
- Abraham Maslow

Now we have a problem in making our power credible,
and Vietnam is the place.
- John F. Kennedy

If the problem can be solved,
there is no use worrying about it.
If it can't be solved,
worrying will do no good.
- Tibetan proverb

The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller

The difference between what we do
and what we are capable of doing
would suffice to solve most of the world's problem.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The acceptance of oneself is
the essence of the whole moral problem
and the epitome of a whole outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

A perfection of means,
and confusion of aims,
seems to be our main problem.
- Albert Einstein

I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem -
and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When I am working on a problem,
I never think about beauty,
but when I have finished,
if the solution is not beautiful,
I know it is wrong.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

If we don't see a failure as a challenge to modify our approach,
but rather as a problem with ourselves, as a personality defect,
we will immediately feel overwhelmed.
- Anthony Robbins

The problem in defense is
how far you can go without destroying from within
what you are trying to defend from without.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

All progress is precarious, and the solution
of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Problem: attitude.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon

You can never solve a problem on the level
on which it was created.
- Albert Einstein

Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem,
but you sow the seeds for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Life is an organic whole. The basic problems of the people -
poverty, ignorance, disease and civic inertia - interlock.
To address one problem, we must address all.
Hence our emphasis on an integrated program
of livelihood, education, health and self-government.
- Jimmy Yen

We cannot solve a problem by saying,
"It's not my problem."
We cannot solve a problem by hoping that
someone else will solve it for us.
I can solve a problem only when I say,
"This is my problem and it's up to me to solve it.
- M. Scott Peck

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You have to realize: OK, I don't know how
to solve a political problem,
I don't know how to solve the pollution problem...
all I know is in my own life,
I need to figure out some sense of purpose,
I need to figure out how to be happy...
and I'm willing.
- Jewel

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

We may not always be aware of it, but we all create
and repeat affirmations constantly.
The problem is, we typically don't pay attention
to exactly what those affirmations are saying.
Often we go through the day giving ourselves
all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages.
We may project confidence to the world around us,
while our inner dialogue says...
I hope this works.
I am so nervous about this.
I hope I don't blow it.
Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies.
If we say, This is never going to work
... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf

The newest computer can merely compound, at speed,
the oldest problem in the relations between human beings,
and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem,
of what to say and how to say it.
- Edward R. Murrow

Walking is good for solving problems -
it's like the feet are little psychiatrists.
- Pepper Giardino

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

I always like walking in the rain,
so no one can see me crying.
- Charlie Chaplin

My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley

My biggest dream is that my words will inspire heart,
hope and personal responsibility in people around the globe
long after my feet in these shoes aren't walking the planet.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson

There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
- the character Morpheus in the movie The Matrix

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Today, walking the beach, I was reminded of the bounty
of the earth in the form of wild blackberries -
a free feast, with no one else bothering to partake.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is no use walking anywhere to preach
unless our walking is our preaching.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

Travelers, there is no path.
Paths are made by walking.
- Antonio Machado

If you are walking to seek, ye shall find.
- Sommeil Liberosensa

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho

My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

Life is a Crazy-Quilt of Suffering and Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

"Pride" is one of those really crazy words,
and such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge, and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I live in a crazy time.
- Anne Frank

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not?
- Luciano Pavarotti

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people
is that they trigger confusion in us
that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with.
To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves,
we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.
- Pema Chodron

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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