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Let these funny Priests Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte
Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous
A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson
I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault
An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous
Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts
Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.