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Funny Posts Quotes
Funny Quotes about Posts

Let these funny Posts Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

RESPONSIBILITY: Fulfill the obligations that the past posts to me.
Embrace the opportunity for service based in love.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates

When the tempest rages, when the thunders roar,
and the lightnings blaze around us
it is then that the truly brave man stands firm at his post.
- Luther Martin

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)


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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin


 

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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