Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Possessions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran
Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus
I am ME.
I am not my attachments.
I am not my possessions.
I am not the people in my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Service which is rendered without joy
helps neither the servant nor the served.
But all other pleasures and possessions
pale into nothingness before service
which is rendered in a spirit of joy.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley
Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession
as they torment us with their loss.
- Epicurus
The possession of knowledge does not
kill the sense of wonder and mystery.
There is always more mystery.
- Anais Nin
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity
are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every increased possession
loads us with a new weariness.
- John Ruskin
Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine,
a possession for all time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
- Albert Einstein
Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon
Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
I think and think for months and years.
Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false.
The hundredth time I am right.
- Albert Einstein
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
Genius is one percent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Thank you for visiting: Funny Possessions Quotes - Funny Quotes about Possessions.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.