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Let these funny Nonexistent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde 
Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
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Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
There is One Infinite Mind,
which of necessity includes all that is,
whether it be the intelligence in man,
the life in the animal,
or the invisible Presence which is God.
- Ernest Holmes
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
God is all there is - God includes everything,
all possibility and all action,
for Spirit is the invisible essence and substance of all form.
- Ernest Holmes
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The poet ranks far below the painter
in the representation of visible things,
and far below the musician in that of invisible things.
- Leonardo da Vinci
We need less posturing and more genuine charisma.
Charisma was originally a religious term,
meaning "of the spirit" or "inspired."
It's about letting God's light shine through us.
It's about a sparkle in people that money can't buy.
It's an invisible energy with visible effects.
To let go, to just love, is not to fade into the wallpaper.
Quite the contrary, it's when we truly become bright.
We're letting our own light shine.
- Marianne Williamson
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
- Oprah Winfrey
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series
Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs
Where the press is free and every man
is able to read, all is safe.
- Thomas Jefferson
Where there's life, there's hope.
- Terence
For food that stays our hunger,
For rest that brings us ease,
For homes where memories linger,
We give our thanks for these.
- Anonymous
Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius
Know that where there is love, nothing is missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Errors of opinion may be tolerated
where reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Where there is injury let me sow pardon.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell
How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When you follow your bliss... doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell
Where there is love there is life.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Washington, where an insignificant individual
may trespass on a nation's time.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Where there is charity and wisdom,
there is neither fear nor ignorance.
- St. Francis of Assisi
The sacred altar of all existence
is where we meet our ancestors
and our descendants yet unborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Home is where we feel comfortable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.