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Funny Names Quotes
Funny Quotes about Names

Let these funny Names Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The beginning of wisdom is to
call things by their right names.
- Chinese proverb

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
- John F. Kennedy

Though we may know Him by a thousand names,
He is one and the same to us all.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

The ad agency's name for Hell is "Las Vegas."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Inferiority Complex:
a name for not loving yourself enough.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland

Heroism on command, senseless violence,
and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -
how passionately I hate them!
- Albert Einstein

SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

America is another name for opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

There is no principle worth the name
if it is not wholly good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

I sincerely believe that banking establishments
are more dangerous than standing armies,
and that the principle of spending money
to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding,
is but swindling futurity on a large scale.
- Thomas Jefferson

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What difference does it make to the dead,
the orphans, and the homeless,
whether the mad destruction is wrought
under the name of totalitarianism
or the holy name of liberty or democracy?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Friendship is but another name for an alliance
with the follies and the misfortunes of others.
Our own share of miseries is sufficient:
why enter then as volunteers into those of another?
- Thomas Jefferson

Know that the true essence of the Golden Rule
is always being compassionate, kind,
generous, and being in service to others.
Compelling others to behave as you wish
them to behave in the name of the
Golden Rule is a corruption of a sacred principle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Zen says that if you drop knowledge -
and within knowledge everything is included;
your name, your identity, everything,
because this has been given to you by others -
if you drop all that has been given by others,
you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence.
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality,
and there will be a resurrection of your innocence.
You will become a child again, reborn.
- Osho

If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon

I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I honor you, Hero, for you do not play to the crowd.
You play to your own soul.
An audience of one fills the house with its appreciation and applause.
Others follow you, and may attempt to emulate you,
but that is not why you are a hero.
Fame may smile upon you, or it may not.
The world may cheer your name, or you may be the unknown warrior
who rescued comrades in battle,
or taught a young girl how to shed tears of joy.
Whatever you did, you did not do for fame.
If you had, you would not be a Hero.
You are a Hero for your bold courageous inspired action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is another old poet whose name I do not now remember
who said, "Truth is the daughter of Time."
- Abraham Lincoln

Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't stand a naked light bulb.
- the movie A Streetcar Named Desire

If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa,
there are also roads that lead to their goal.
Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.
- Nelson Mandela

A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

Once we doubt ourselves, success slips beyond our grasp.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker

Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I have the right to love many people at once
and to change my prince often.
- Anais Nin

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

The whole world is a cyclone.
But once you have found the center, the cyclone disappears.
This nothingness is the ultimate peak of consciousness.
- Osho

You only live once -
but if you work it right, once is enough.
- Joe E. Lewis

We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals

What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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