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Let these funny Murders Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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We are asking the nations of Europe
between whom rivers of blood have flowed
to forget the feuds of a thousand years.
- Winston Churchill
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
Prayer is not asking for what you think you want,
but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine.
- Kathleen Norris
Stop asking God to bless what you're doing.
Get involved in what God is doing -
because it's already blessed.
- Bono
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul.
It is daily admission of one's weakness.
It is better in prayer to have a heart without words
than words without a heart.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
Jealousy is a child of selfishness and distrust.
- Mourning Dove
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Manifest plainness, embrace simplicity,
reduce selfishness, have few desires.
- Lao Tzu
Every man must decide whether he will
walk in the light of creative altruism
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Gossip and complaint are the underbelly of low conversation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand
my complaint about them not understanding me.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
The whole world can gossip about you,
and if you don't take it personally you are immune.
- don Miguel Ruiz
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
Don't complain, don't whine, and don't gossip.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
While you can and should keep your composure and happiness
regardless of circumstances - regardless of your friends,
family and co-workers - regardless of gossip, sarcasm, and negativity.
Nonetheless, life is much easier and more pleasant
when you spend as much time as possible
in the company of enthusiastic positive people -
not necessarily those who agree with you,
but those who respect your right to your point of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I choose to be caring, compassionate and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity
in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein
The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard
Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang
Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?
- Sarah Jessica Parker
Motivation is the art of getting people to do
what you want them to do because they want to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Courage is the art of being the only one
who knows you're scared to death.
- Earl Wilson
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Your life is the manifestation of your dream;
it is an art.
You can change your life anytime if
you aren't enjoying the dream.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The whole art of teaching is only the art
of awakening the natural curiosity
of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
- Anatole France
Tell me what company thou keepst,
and I'll tell thee what thou art.
- Miguel de Cervantes
The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu
Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter
Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter
Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Just smiling goes a long way toward
making you feel better about life.
And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
- Elie Wiesel
It is curious to observe what different
ideals of happiness people cherish,
and in what singular places they look
for this well-spring of their life.
Many look for it in the hoarding of riches,
some in the pride of power,
and others in the achievements of art and literature;
a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds,
or in search for knowledge.
- Helen Keller
The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho
Where the spirit does not work with the hand,
there is no art.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Without tradition, art is a
flock of sheep without a shepherd.
Without innovation, it is a corpse.
- Winston Churchill
Leadership is the art of getting someone else
to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
It is the function of art to renew our perception.
What we are familiar with we cease to see.
The writer shakes up the familiar scene,
and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
- Anais Nin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.