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Funny Middle Age Quotes
Funny Quotes about Middle Age

Let these funny Middle Age Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

The youth gets together his materials
to build a bridge to the moon,
or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth,
and, at length, the middle-aged man
concludes to build a woodshed with them.
- Henry David Thoreau

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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Don't worry about that chair with a hole in the middle.
It's merely waiting to be reupholstered.
- the movie Casino Royale (1966)

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein


 

Walk on road, hmmm?
Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe.
Walk middle, sooner or later get squish just like grape.
Here, karate, same thing.
Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no."
You karate do "guess so," squish just like grape. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
- Henry David Thoreau

And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

Dreams are renewable no matter what our age.
- Dale Turner

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
- Helen Keller

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
- Anais Nin

The golden age is before us, not behind us.
- William Shakespeare

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy

At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

Life is to be taken lightly
by those who wish to be happy
and by those who wish to age gracefully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

Instead of being presented with stereotypes
by age, sex, color, class, or religion,
children must have the opportunity
to learn that within each range,
some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
- Margaret Mead

Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced,
and today we think this more than ever, and are just as wrong
as all previous ages that thought so.
How often have we not seen the truth condemned!
It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Each age, it is found, must write its own books;
or rather, each generation for the next succeeding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- the movie Simon Birch

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

Life was meant to be lived,
and curiosity must be kept alive.
One must never, for whatever reason,
turn his back on life.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event,
deal with it and then move on.
- Bob Newhart

I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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