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Let these funny Marry Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
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Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
You don't marry someone you can live with,
you marry the person who you cannot live without.
- Anonymous
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier
When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell
Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Rituals are important.
Nowadays it's hip not to be married.
I'm not interested in being hip.
- John Lennon
Organic buildings are the strength
and lightness of the spiders' spinning,
buildings qualified by light,
bred by native character to environment,
married to the ground.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The boldness of endurance is
the underline to almost every success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Capture a shadow,
dance with the wind,
stand in a rainbow,
begin at the end.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A Single Generosity Enlarges the World.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A life rooted deeply lives and grows in memory.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
CALM IN CHAOS
In the midst of the flurry - clarity.
In the midst of the storm - calm.
In the midst of divided interests - certainty.
In the many roads - a certain choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In spite of unseasonable wind, snow
and unexpected weather of all sorts -
a gardener still plants.
And tends what they have planted ...
believing that Spring will come.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Yes! it takes courage to act upon your dreams.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Choose with no regret.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A life, deeply rooted, lives and grows in memory.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is defined more by its risks than by its samenesses.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
What is it about sameness that so draws me,
and how could I begin to have
that same kind of attraction to change?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.