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Let these funny Maker Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
One's own religion is after all
a matter between oneself
and one's Maker and no one else's.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
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I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)
Don't make assumptions.
- don Miguel Ruiz
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
Make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung
Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden
Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.