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Let these funny Major Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben
The ability to be in the present moment
is a major component of mental wellness.
- Abraham Maslow
All major religious traditions
carry basically the same message,
that is love, compassion and forgiveness.
The important thing is they should
be part of our daily lives.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
I have one yardstick by which I test every major problem -
and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions.
- Edward R. Murrow
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
The minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
In matters of conscience,
the law of the majority has no place.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)
All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle,
that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail,
that will to be rightful must be reasonable;
that the minority possess their equal rights,
which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.
- Thomas Jefferson
We may consider each generation as a distinct nation,
with a right, by the will of its majority,
to bind themselves, but none to
bind the succeeding generation,
more than the inhabitants of another country.
- Thomas Jefferson
Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller
Truth always rests with the minority,
and the minority is always stronger than the majority,
because the minority is generally formed by those
who really have an opinion,
while the strength of a majority is illusory,
formed by the gangs who have no opinion -
and who, therefore, in the next instant
(when it is evident that the minority is the stronger)
assume its opinion... while truth again reverts to a new minority.
- Soren Kierkegaard
A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror.
As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.
- Carl Jung
In individuals, insanity is rare;
but in groups, parties, nations and epochs,
it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler
The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein
There is no rule more invariable than that
we are paid for our suspicions
by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
- George Bernard Shaw
Most of the fundamental ideas of science
are essentially simple,
and may, as a rule, be expressed
in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein
The tyrant dies and his rule is over,
the martyr dies and his rule begins
- Soren Kierkegaard
Hatred does not cease by hatred,
but only by love;
this is the eternal rule.
- The Buddha
The clearest way to show what the rule of law
means to us in everyday life
is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Be like me" is not a Golden Rule.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We can let circumstances rule us,
or we can take charge and
rule our lives from within.
- Earl Nightingale
Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason.
- Terry Goodkind
Know that the true essence of the Golden Rule
is always being compassionate, kind,
generous, and being in service to others.
Compelling others to behave as you wish
them to behave in the name of the
Golden Rule is a corruption of a sacred principle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The older I get, the more wisdom I find
in the ancient rule of taking first things first.
A process which often reduces
the most complex human problem to a manageable proportion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
- Luke 6:31 (the "Golden Rule")
I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz
When you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you
that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell
Don't let anyone else take the measure
of your worth and capabilities.
Always stand proud in who you are.
- Margaret Spellings
ANYONE may become a revealer of Truth
who lives in close contact with the indwelling God.
- Ernest Holmes
I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes
If you want to be heroic,
Don't emulate your heroes,
learn from them.
Heroes don't follow anyone,
they set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live.
- Epictetus
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.