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Funny Locking Quotes
Funny Quotes about Locking

Let these funny Locking Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous

It is difficult for the common good to prevail
against the intense concentration
of those who have a special interest,
especially if the decisions are made behind locked doors.
- Jimmy Carter

Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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What if we like our outrageous side best?
We "know" that the "right" thing to do is to suck it up,
put the costume and the happy face back in storage for another year,
re-dress in our frown and gray flannel suit,
and trudge back to job, chores, "responsibilities," and "duty."
Stop! Maybe TODAY is the day to put the frown and gray flannel
into that dusty storage locker, and start to LIVE.
Not just today, but EVERY DAY for the rest of your life!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

It's like deja-vu, all over again.
- Yogi Berra

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy

His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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