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Let these funny Jump Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life ... is like a parachute jump:
you have to get it right the first time.
- Margaret Mead
The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
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You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- old proverb often attributed to David Lloyd George
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.