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Let these funny Jazzed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
Jazz is the music of the body.
- Anais Nin
You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People 
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Goes the song, "we change, we change."
But the music is still mine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler
There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer
Don't die with your music still inside you.
- Wayne Dyer
The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Music is what feelings sound like.
- Anonymous
Take a long walk alone in the woods -
leave the cellphone and music player at home.
Your whole BEing will appreciate it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau
Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together.
- Anais Nin
If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau
Music produces a kind of pleasure
which human nature cannot do without.
- Confucius
Where words fail, music speaks.
- Hans Christian Andersen
Words make you think a thought.
Music makes you feel a feeling.
A song makes you feel a thought.
- E. Y. Harburg
Like music and art, love of nature is a common language
that can transcend political or social boundaries.
- Jimmy Carter
Music expresses that which can not be said
and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
- Berthold Auerbach
Love is a friendship set to music.
- Joseph Campbell
Music takes us out of the actual
and whispers to us dim secrets
that startle our wonder as to who we are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu
Stirred awake by the exquisite music
of my own relentless commitment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Music and rhythm find their way
into the secret places of the soul.
- Plato
Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Music and silence combine strongly
because music is done with silence,
and silence is full of music.
- Marcel Marceau
When the music changes, so does the dance.
- African Proverb
When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe
Music can change the world because it can change people.
- Bono
Music fills the infinite between two souls.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Music is the silence between the notes.
- Claude Debussy
The truest expression of a people
is in its dances and its music.
Bodies never lie.
- Agnes De Mille
Indifferent to whether your mood is grumpy or cheerful,
Nature always sings her passionate song of joyful celebration.
You can never stop the happy song of life,
so join the celebration -
sing along, dance, make love,
smile your biggest smile, and cheer on God's music.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Count your blessings. Once you realize
how valuable you are and how much you have going for you,
the smiles will return, the sun will break out,
the music will play, and you will finally
be able to move forward the life that God intended
for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
- Og Mandino
There are choirs singing in your head.
If you listen, you will hear the music.
It is the song of angels.
Pay no attention to the sounds of the world.
They are just noises, and even when
added up all together
they have no value, make no sense.
Strain to hear the song of angels.
Listen to the melody within your soul.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous
A "scream" is always just that -
a noise and not music.
- Carl Jung
If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon
Music is everybody's possession.
It's only publishers who think that people own it.
- John Lennon
The body is an instrument which
only gives off music when it is used as a body.
Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls,
so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.
- Anais Nin
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.