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Let these funny Irritating Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If someone irritates you, it is only
your own response that is irritating you.
Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you,
remember that it is only your judgment
of the incident that provokes you. -
- Epictetus
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Know nothing. For to know nothing is to know everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives,
everything he does becomes tainted.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Helen Keller
All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha
I Give Thanks for EVERYTHING that has Occurred
to Bring Me to This Instant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous
He who experiences the unity of life
sees his own Self in all beings,
and all beings in his own Self,
and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
- The Buddha
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I forgive everyone for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Know that you have a choice about
everything you do and everything you do not do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
Everything that can be counted
does not necessarily count;
everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.
- Albert Einstein
The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone
and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is hard to interest those who have everything,
in those who have nothing.
- Helen Keller
To know everything is to know nothing,
but to know nothing is to know everything.
- Confucius
Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
- Bartholomew
He who has health has hope,
and he who has hope has everything.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.