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Let these funny Irritates Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
If someone irritates you, it is only
your own response that is irritating you.
Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you,
remember that it is only your judgment
of the incident that provokes you. -
- Epictetus
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
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I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Always aim at complete harmony
of thought and word and deed.
Always aim at purifying your thoughts
and everything will be well.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the new economy, information, education,
and motivation are everything.
- William J. Clinton
He who has health has hope,
and he who has hope has everything.
- Anonymous
Know that when you see Spirit in everything,
peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is time for everything when Spirit is my guide.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All differences in this world
are of degree, and not of kind,
because oneness is the secret of everything.
- Swami Vivekananda
God is all there is - God includes everything,
all possibility and all action,
for Spirit is the invisible essence and substance of all form.
- Ernest Holmes
Know that you have a choice about
everything you do and everything you do not do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
- Vince Lombardi
A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo
I Give Thanks for EVERYTHING that has Occurred
to Bring Me to This Instant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter
Everything I need will be manifested.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -
after they've tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill
Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere
Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
- Bartholomew
Know nothing. For to know nothing is to know everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.