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Let these funny Inventions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys,
which distract our attention from serious things.
They are but improved means to an unimproved end.
- Henry David Thoreau
All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy.
What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
- Carl Jung
Necessity is the mother of invention.
- Proverb
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There is nothing to do - and the River flows.
There is nothing to say - and the River flows.
There is nothing to think - and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel - and the River flows.
The River flows - and all else is our drama.
The River flows - and all else is our invention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The River of Life has no meaning, no good, no bad,
no better, no worse, no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS. There is nothing to do.
There is nothing to say.
There is nothing to think.
There is nothing to feel.
The River just flows. The River is the source of all nourishment -
the source of all obstacles.
The River is the source of all life - the source of all death.
The River is the source of all joy - and the source of all sorrow.
Yet the River has no joy - and the River has no sorrow.
The River is just the River.
One can flow harmoniously with the River -
or one can struggle fearfully against the River -
and the River just flows.
One can accept the River - or one can deny the River -
and the River just flows.
One can worship the River of Life - or one can curse the River of Life -
and the River just flows. There is nothing to do - and the River flows.
There is nothing to say - and the River flows.
There is nothing to think - and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel - and the River flows.
The River flows - and all else is our drama.
The River flows - and all else is our invention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon
Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Optimism is the harmony between man's spirit
and of God pronouncing His works good.
- Helen Keller
Good works are links that form a chain of love.
- Mother Teresa
Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson
Love is the great miracle cure.
Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
'Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
My own gratitude list begins with health, family, friends,
and the beauty around me - from the butterflies and rainbows,
to the dolphins, to the birds, to the works produced by the human hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14
We may not always be aware of it, but we all create
and repeat affirmations constantly.
The problem is, we typically don't pay attention
to exactly what those affirmations are saying.
Often we go through the day giving ourselves
all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages.
We may project confidence to the world around us,
while our inner dialogue says...
I hope this works.
I am so nervous about this.
I hope I don't blow it.
Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies.
If we say, This is never going to work
... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf
I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The Artist is he who detects and applies the law
from observation of the works of Genius,
whether of man or Nature.
The Artisan is he who merely applies
the rules which others have detected.
- Henry David Thoreau
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau
The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden
There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw
Normally, we do not so much look at things as overlook them.
- Alan Watts
Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.
- George Eliot
Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung
It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India,
history will look upon the act of
depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Look twice before you leap.
- Charlotte Bronte
It's not what you look at that matters,
it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
Look to be treated by others as you have treated others.
- Publilius Syrus
Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter
For time and the world do not stand still.
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
Never bend your head. Always hold it high.
Look the world straight in the eye.
- Helen Keller
If you look into your own heart,
and you find nothing wrong there,
what is there to worry about?
What is there to fear?
- Confucius
It is always wise to look ahead,
but difficult to look further than you can see.
- Winston Churchill
I look to a day when people will not be judged
by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Look deep into nature, and then
you will understand everything better.
- Albert Einstein
Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead
Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever I look in the mirror,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Look now into the still waters
of the reflecting pool
and behold the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I look forward to an America which
will not be afraid of grace and beauty.
- John F. Kennedy
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.