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Let these funny Injuring Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man is truly ethical only when he obeys
the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist,
and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
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Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
Where there is injury let me sow pardon.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb
I do myself a greater injury in lying
than I do him of whom I tell a lie.
- Michel de Montaigne
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God.
- Thomas Jefferson
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
...
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912
We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz
Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige
Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)
I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love.
- Mother Teresa
Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
- Vipin Sharma
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let me say this as clearly as I can:
No matter how sharp a grievance or how deep a hurt,
there is no justification for killing innocents.
- William J. Clinton
Only Americans can hurt America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
You hurt because you're alive.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige
Life is magnificent - just as it comes.
Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick.
Life is no pig.
Our life is the greatest gift of all creation.
When we are unhappy with life -
when we are shocked by the stock market,
or dismayed by our choice of political candidates,
let us not lash out in anger.
But also, let us not try to pretty up life
with some lipstick and some party clothes.
See life clearly - no rose colored glasses -
and then CHOOSE to love life.
CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful,
be forgiving of everyone and of every act
we believe has hurt us.
Life just "IS."
We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My coat and I live comfortably together.
It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere,
has moulded itself on my deformities,
and is complacent to all my movements,
and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
Old coats and old friends are the same thing.
- Victor Hugo
If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal
Forgiveness is the salve that heals
the wounds of unkind words and acts.
Forgive everyone for every hurt you have ever received -
for your own sake, that you may live in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter
I unconditionally forgive everyone for all hurt
that I have ever experienced in the presence of their actions.
I unconditionally forgive myself for everything that I have ever done,
said, or thought that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know how hard it is in these times to have faith.
But maybe if you could have the faith to start with,
maybe the times would change.
You could change them. Think about it. Try.
And try not to hurt each other.
- the movie Oh, God!
Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
according to your point of view.
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal
A woman is the only thing I am afraid of
that I know will not hurt me.
- Abraham Lincoln
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
- schoolyard rhyme
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.