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Let these funny Holidays Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss
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For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every day is a good day to make a resolution
for beginning a new way of living,
but the New Year's Day holiday provides a good focus
for reviewing our lives and resolving
to live each day with conscious attention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think one of the finest gifts I can give
my friends in the holiday season is to pause
with a long enough quality to actually SEE them.
My calm, unhurried presence communicates
this gift of a message, "I see you. I recognize you.
I remember our times of together
and am contributing right now to another quality memory.
I value you and honor and take the time,
right this moment to pause long enough to truly notice you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The holiday season promotes
a heightened sense of community.
It draws our chins up and
helps us look above and over
the limiting fence of our own events,
activities and preoccupations.
The opportunity for a heroic gesture
can tap you quietly on the shoulder
in the midst of a holiday bustle.
If you are attentive,
you will notice the gentle touch
and will be able to respond. Remember...
There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
The best things in life are free.
- Anonymous
A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland
It is no use saying, "We are doing our best."
You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Winston Churchill
Doing your best is taking the action because you love it,
not because you're expecting a reward
- don Miguel Ruiz
We fear both the best and the worst in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Read the best books first,
or you may not have a chance to read them at all.
- Henry David Thoreau
Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous
In meditation practice, the best way to get somewhere
is to let go of trying to get anywhere at all.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
In the struggle for survival,
the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals
because they succeed in adapting
themselves best to their environment.
- Charles Darwin
The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.