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Funny Happened Quotes
Funny Quotes about Happened

Let these funny Happened Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I am not what happened to me,
I am what I choose to become.
- Carl Jung

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
- Anonymous


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Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How much pain they have cost us,
the evils which have never happened.
- Thomas Jefferson


 

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

For everything observed or experienced,
each of us creates a "story" - not sometimes, but always.
A "story" is the fiction a person tells themselves
about what has happened or is happening.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever happened, forgive others, forgive yourself,
move forward, live for today and tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others.
Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

The clearest way to show what the rule of law
means to us in everyday life
is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just as in the comedies, a person who is in love
with the idea of love sees prospective partners
through the lens of idealism.
The reaction is, "This must be the one.
They are so perfect - the match of my dreams."
Is that person they just met a perfect match?
It's unlikely their friends think so.
So what happened? That person with the cute smile
was not much more than a mirror for the hopes and dreams
of the one in love with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie

What has happened at Guantanamo Bay...
does not represent the will of the American people.
I'm embarrassed about it, I think its wrong.
I think it does give terrorists an unwarranted excuse
to use the despicable means to hurt innocent people.
- Jimmy Carter

Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho,
when he fell into the hands of robbers.
They stripped him of his clothes, beat him
and went away, leaving him half dead.
A priest happened to be going down the same road,
and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
So too, a Levite [religious leader],
when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side.
But a Samaritan [Samaritans and Jews generally disliked
and were suspicious of each other] came where the man was;
and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds ... and ...
took him to an inn and took care of him. ...
Jesus [said] "Go and do likewise."
- Luke 10:25-37 (The Parable of the Good Samaritan)

Computers happen.
- Anonymous

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We are never afraid of what is happening in this instant -
It is what MIGHT happen next that frightens us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.
- John F. Kennedy

The most astonishing thing about miracles is that they happen.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Balance happens when I invite it to happen
with my intentional actions and my guided perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I know the price of success: dedication, hard work,
and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

INTENT:
We hold the power to make things happen
through our intent -
to the extent that we use our intention
with compassion and without ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Good things happen to those who hustle.
- Anais Nin

First meditate, be blissful,
then much love will happen of its own accord.
Then being with others is beautiful
and being alone is also beautiful.
Then it is simple, too.
You dont depend on others
and you dont make others dependent on you.
- Osho

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

While most managers spend their time attempting
to predict the future accurately -
and while that's valuable -
the best managers are able to generate a future
which was not going to happen otherwise -
that is, a future which was not predictable.
- Werner Erhard

In your days - things like this happen to you...
You get a tap, a nudge, a gentle shake,
and life whispers to you, "I know you're tired -
but I don't want you to miss this."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This [the Holocaust] must never happen again. ...
Be vigilant about your rights.
Care about the rights and human dignity of others.
When the rights of any group, no matter how small,
no matter how marginal, are violated,
your liberty, your freedom is put at risk.
Let there never be a day when we cast about in horror
and have to ask the question, "How did it ever come to this?"
- Thomas Childers, Ph.D., Professor of History,
University of Pennsylvania, in the closing remarks
of his six-hour Teaching Company audio lecture series

Meddling:
Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen,
is NOT my responsibility.
There are more than enough things that are my responsibility.
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions -
and that is enough.
It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business.
I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess
what anyone else thinks or does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho

Faith:
When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
...
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly
- Patrick Overton - from his book of poems: The Leaning Tree, 1975
[Widely mis-attributed to Barbara J. Winter, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and others]

A fool is one who goes on trusting;
a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience.
You deceive him, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you.
Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.
His trust is tremendous; his trust is
so pure that nobody can corrupt it.
Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense.
Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you.
Whatsoever experience comes to you,
let it happen, and then go on dropping it.
Go on cleaning your mind continuously;
go on dying to the past so you remain in the present here-now,
as if just born, just a babe.
- Osho

It happens - Sometimes.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Life just happens - enjoy it anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley

It's not what happens to you,
but how you react to it that matters.
- Epictetus

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever happens, always look to tomorrow -
with courage and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll

I am not the Catholic candidate for President.
I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President,
who happens also to be a Catholic.
- John F. Kennedy

Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy

The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer

Whatever happens, take responsibility.
- Tony Robbins

Make the best use of what is in your power,
and take the rest as it happens.
- Epictetus


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.