Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Guy Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton
Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare
Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love has no limits.
- Anonymous
Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu
When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.
You are never given a wish without also
being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach
A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
True happiness... is not attained
through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller
Every true love song, by its very nature, is a duet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer
Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller
True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich
Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein
No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman
Smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize
how little we understand about life,
ourselves, and the world around us.
- Socrates
Follow your instincts.
That's where true wisdom manifests itself.
- Oprah Winfrey
We censor our actions, but
our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin -
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank you for visiting: Funny Guy Quotes - Funny Quotes about Guy.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.