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Let these funny Gratify Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Customs do not concern themselves
with right or wrong or reason.
But they have to be obeyed;
one reasons all around them until he is tired,
but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
- Mark Twain
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
If it's Right, stand up for it - together.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung
The right to be irresponsible is a right I hold dear.
- Bono
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
- Peter T. Mcintyre
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
Do what you feel in your heart to be right.
You'll be criticized anyway.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Courage is not always about action,
and it doesn't always involve danger,
but courage is always doing what is right.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln
Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
- Napoleon Hill
Do you prefer that you be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles
I despise people who go to the gutter
on either the right or the left
and hurl rocks at those in the center.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stand with anybody that stands right,
stand with him while he is right
and part with him when he goes wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whether you think you can,
or think you can't,
you're right.
- Henry Ford
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind.
The time is always right to do the right thing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker
No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson
When you are right you cannot be too radical;
when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right;
a single experiment can prove me wrong.
- Albert Einstein
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
- William J. H. Boetcker
To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln
There are righteous people working
in a whole rainbow of belief systems -
from Hasidic Jews to right-wing Bible Belters
to charismatic Catholics.
- Bono
Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right,
than to be responsible and wrong.
- Winston Churchill
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky
Let's have faith that right makes might;
and in that faith let us, to the end,
dare to do our duty as we understand it.
- Abraham Lincoln
What is, is right.
- Alexander Pope
It is not desirable to cultivate
a respect for the law,
so much as for the right.
- Henry David Thoreau
I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance
or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
- Thomas Jefferson
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -
after they've tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill
Mankind are more disposed to suffer,
while evils are sufferable,
than to right themselves by abolishing
the forms to which they are accustomed.
- Thomas Jefferson
I follow my intuition,
and it leads me along the Right Path.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Would you rather be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles
There is no "right", there is no "wrong" -
there are only points of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you think you can,
or you think you can't,
you're probably right.
- Henry Ford
When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Is freedom anything else than the right
to live as we wish? Nothing else.
- Epictetus
You only live once -
but if you work it right, once is enough.
- Joe E. Lewis
Government is a contrivance
of human wisdom to provide for human wants.
People have the right to expect that these wants
will be provided for by this wisdom.
- Jimmy Carter
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.
- Rumi
There is nothing wrong with America
that cannot be cured with what is right in America.
- William J. Clinton
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.