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Let these funny Grasping Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Beware, lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.
- Aesop
The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan
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Once we doubt ourselves, success slips beyond our grasp.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
Surely God would not have created such a being as man,
with an ability to grasp the infinite,
to exist only for a day!
No, no, man was made for immortality.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins
The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates
Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker
How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau
When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals
Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs
Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy
The whole world is a cyclone.
But once you have found the center, the cyclone disappears.
This nothingness is the ultimate peak of consciousness.
- Osho
If you do something once,
people will call it an accident.
If you do it twice, t
hey call it a coincidence.
But do it a third time, and
you've just proven a natural law.
- Grace Hopper
You need to make a commitment,
and once you make it,
then life will give you some answers.
- Les Brown
Once we accept our limits, we can go beyond them.
- Albert Einstein
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
Where there is an observatory and a telescope,
we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once.
- Henry David Thoreau
We would like to live as we once lived,
but history will not permit it.
- John F. Kennedy
We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
You only live once, and once is enough
if you play your cards right.
- the movie Interiors (1978)
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei
Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
A mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein
What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau
For once you have tasted flight
you will walk the earth
with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been
and there you will long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis
All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau
In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
- Abraham Lincoln
Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead
We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin
My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
- Helen Keller
I have the right to love many people at once
and to change my prince often.
- Anais Nin
You only live once -
but if you work it right, once is enough.
- Joe E. Lewis
Once you label me, you negate me.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill
I would rather try to persuade a man to go along,
because once I have persuaded him, he will stick.
If I scare him, he will stay just as long
as he is scared, and then he is gone.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time;
you can even fool some of the people all of the time;
but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Failure does not exist.
Failure is simply someone else's opinion of how
a certain act should have been completed.
Once you believe that no act must be performed
in any specific other-directed way,
then failing becomes impossible.
- Wayne Dyer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.