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Let these funny Goods Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively,
the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy,
however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow
Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
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Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach
Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it.
It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.
- Grace Hopper
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle
There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Regrets are the tears of choices not made
and of good deeds left undone.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All tyranny needs to gain a foothold
is for people of good conscience to remain silent.
- Thomas Jefferson
Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.