Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Funny Foresee Quotes
Funny Quotes about Foresee

Let these funny Foresee Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Man has lost the capacity to foresee and to forestall.
He will end by destroying the earth.
- Albert Schweitzer

I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West


 

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter


Thank you for visiting: Funny Foresee Quotes - Funny Quotes about Foresee.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.