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Let these funny Foes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
Judgment and weariness are foes to service and generosity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe,
that lures him to evil ways.
- The Buddha
When I hear music, I fear no danger.
I am invulnerable. I see no foe.
I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Let the word go forth from this time and place,
to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed
to a new generation of Americans -
born in this century, tempered by war,
disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
- John F. Kennedy
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe
to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
- John F. Kennedy
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.