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Let these funny Family Quotes add some humor to your life. And check out many more Funny Quotes from my large collection.
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
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Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
- the movie Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson
Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous
Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead
Consider a new beginning with your family -
choose to take them less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
- Desmond Tutu
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes, our family's most important job
is reminding us how unimportant we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
You are my family because I CHOOSE you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is our family?
We touch our full hearts and see ourselves
reflected whole in each other's eyes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are my Family
- Karen Drucker
What can you do to promote world peace?
Go home and love your family.
- Mother Teresa
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
Sister is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once the sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship.
- Margaret Mead
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Unlike grown-ups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare
We are now at a point where we must educate our children
in what no one knew yesterday,
and prepare our schools for what no one knows yet.
- Margaret Mead
There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul
than the way in which it treats its children.
- Nelson Mandela
No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman
Youngsters need good models more than they need critics.
- John Wooden
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
- Honore de Balzac
You can never really live anyone else's life,
not even your child's.
The influence you exert is through your own life,
and what you've become yourself.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter
When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
We must not inflict life on children who will be resented;
we must not inflict unwanted children on society.
- Anne Lamott
A child miseducated is a child lost.
- John F. Kennedy
Home is where our loved ones are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
Mother's love grows by giving.
- Charles Lamb
Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead
The final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating.
Youngsters need good models more than they need critics.
It's one of a parent's greatest responsibilities and opportunities.
- John Wooden
My children have made me more aggressive about the world
that they're about to inhabit.
- Bono
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If you get frustrated by some of your family,
focus on the good aspects of your relationship
and attempt to overlook the irritations.
Then give thanks for everyone who plays a part in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
Children are educated by what the grown-up is
and not by his talk.
- Carl Jung
Home is where we feel comfortable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tell me whom you live with,
and I will tell you who you are.
- Spanish Proverb
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.