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Let these funny Explaining Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing I say can explain to you Divine Love
Yet all of creation cannot seem to stop talking about it.
- Rumi
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The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you can't explain it simply,
you don't understand it well enough.
- Albert Einstein
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley
The mediocre teacher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
- William Arthur Ward
Never ascribe to malice that which is
adequately explained by incompetence.
- Napoleon
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Being is the great explainer.
- Henry David Thoreau
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill
This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honor your being,
Release each and every struggle,
Gather strength from life's storms,
Relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
There is sanctuary in being alone with nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Face the facts of being what you are,
for that is what changes what you are.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
Freedom lies in being bold.
- Robert Frost
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
We are addicted to being the way we are
- don Miguel Ruiz
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Lives based on having are less free
than lives based on doing or being.
- E.Y. Harburg
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The man form is higher than the angel form;
of all forms it is the highest.
Man is the highest being in creation,
because he aspires to freedom.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
The most terrible poverty is loneliness
and the feeling of being unloved.
- Mother Teresa
I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
- Peter T. Mcintyre
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.