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Let these funny Eradicate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Let us seek to invoke the wonders of science ...
explore the stars, conquer the deserts,
eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths,
and encourage the arts and commerce.
- John F. Kennedy
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields 
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
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A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.