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Funny Epitaph Quotes
Funny Quotes about Epitaph

Let these funny Epitaph Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs

Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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Instead of needing lots of children,
we need high-quality children.
- Margaret Mead

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Youth is a quality, not a matter of circumstances.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen

Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities...
because it is the quality which guarantees all others.
- Winston Churchill

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
- William Shakespeare

Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust.
Service brings satisfaction.
Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.
- James Cash Penney

There is more difference in the quality
of our pleasures than in the amount.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton

Creativity is the quality that you bring
to the activity that you are doing.
It is an attitude, an inner approach -
how you look at things.
- Osho

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi

At all times and under all circumstances,
we have the power to transform the quality of our lives.
- Werner Erhard

It is the quality of our work which will please God
and not the quantity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho

Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered.
He consists only of one quality: witnessing.
This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only a witness.
As the witnessing deepens,
you start becoming drunk with the divine.
That is what is called ecstasy.
- Osho

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible,
no matter whether it is on a section gang,
a football field, in an army, or in an office.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage
which in the past has been brought to public life
is not as likely to insist upon or regard
that quality in its chosen leaders today -
and in fact we have forgotten.
- John F. Kennedy

To affect the quality of the day,
that is the highest of arts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Zen says that if you drop knowledge -
and within knowledge everything is included;
your name, your identity, everything,
because this has been given to you by others -
if you drop all that has been given by others,
you will have a totally different quality to your being: innocence.
This will be a crucifixion of the persona, the personality,
and there will be a resurrection of your innocence.
You will become a child again, reborn.
- Osho

Respect the masterpiece. It is true reverence to man.
There is no quality so great, none so much needed now.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I think one of the finest gifts I can give
my friends in the holiday season is to pause
with a long enough quality to actually SEE them.
My calm, unhurried presence communicates
this gift of a message, "I see you. I recognize you.
I remember our times of together
and am contributing right now to another quality memory.
I value you and honor and take the time,
right this moment to pause long enough to truly notice you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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