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Let these funny Electricity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Mind exists as a Principle in the universe,
just as electricity exists as a principle.
- Ernest Holmes
What do you take for granted?
It is human nature to take everything for granted -
our companions, our homes,
our electricity, our TVs and computers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.