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Let these funny Driving Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong
Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci
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In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive;
easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
- Henry Peter Brougham
I welcome change. I drive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head,
and knows not that it brings abundance
to drive away the hunger.
- Saint Basil
A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't let the past drive life - choose life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein
Drive Change, don't wait for change to drive you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins
A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The mind constantly chatters.
That chatter winds up being the force
that drives us much of the day in terms of what we do,
what we react to, and how we feel.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat,
for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator,
while the wolf denounces him for the same act
as the destroyer of liberty,
especially as the sheep was a black one.
Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed
upon a definition of the word liberty;
and precisely the same difference
prevails today among us human creatures
- Abraham Lincoln
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill
The postman wants an autograph.
The cab driver wants a picture.
The waitress wants a handshake.
Everyone wants a piece of you.
- John Lennon
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.