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Let these funny Devil Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
Those who play with the devil's toys
will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin
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Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel
It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil.
If they would only expend the same
amount of energy loving their fellow men,
the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.
- Helen Keller
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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