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Let these funny Death Dying Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland
Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump
A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own.
- Thomas Mann
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson
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Ordinary people seem not to realize
that those who really apply themselves
in the right way to philosophy
are directly and of their own accord
preparing themselves for dying and death.
- Socrates
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
There is no death, only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch
O Captain. My Captain. our fearful trip is done.
- Walt Whitman
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It is originally an unlearned feeling process.
Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
- Anne Grant
Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval -
a thing which, to the general run of the human race,
is more dreaded than wolves and death.
- Mark Twain
Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins
Without zest, what is life?
Just waiting for death?
- Osho
Do not mourn the dead, but comfort the living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every parting gives a foretaste of death,
every reunion a hint of the resurrection.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Do the thing you fear,
and death of fear is certain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man's good name is his best monument
- from an old churchyard at Lockerbie, Scotland
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
It's not what you take when
you leave this world behind you.
It's what you leave behind you when you go.
- Randy Travis
We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams
Careers and relationships also have their cycles
of birth, growth, and death -
to be followed by rebirth and the renewal of the cycle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin
When you break up, your whole identity is
shattered. It's like death.
- Dennis Quaid
I cannot know the pain you feel.
I cannot share your memories or your loss.
My words of sympathy are beneath measure, yet
know that my heart reaches out with love to your heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle.
It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket
People living deeply have no fear of death.
- Anais Nin
'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
but they whose heart is firm,
and whose conscience approves their conduct,
will pursue their principles unto death.
- Thomas Paine
Only love and death will change all things.
- Khalil Gibran
Intellectual growth should commence at birth
and cease only at death.
- Albert Einstein
Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne
A nation or civilization that
continues to produce soft-minded men
purchases its own spiritual death
on the installment plan.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor
I postpone death by living, by suffering,
by error, by risking, by giving, by loving.
- Anais Nin
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
- The Buddha
For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
- Socrates
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
- George Santayana
Fear not death; for the sooner we die,
the longer shall we be immortal.
- Benjamin Franklin
I Cheat Death by Enjoying Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let us all be brave enough
to die the death of a martyr,
but let no one lust for martyrdom.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.