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Let these funny Comparable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth,
and no culture comparable to that of the garden.
- Thomas Jefferson
Women must pay for everything.
They do get more glory than men for comparable feats,
but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.
- Amelia Earhart
Be simply yourself and don't compare or compete.
- Lao Tzu
When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.
- Lao Tzu
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Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
To know the whole world is nothing
when it is compared to knowing your own inner mystery of life.
- Osho
When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard,"
I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?
- Sydney Harris
Let everyone try and find that
as a result of daily prayer
he adds something new to his life,
something with which nothing can be compared.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Humans are essentially storytellers.
- Walter Fisher
Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most of the fundamental ideas of science
are essentially simple,
and may, as a rule, be expressed
in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein
Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
After all, science is essentially international,
and it is only through lack of the historical sense
that national qualities have been attributed to it.
- Marie Curie
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.