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Funny Communication Quotes
Funny Quotes about Communication

Let these funny Communication Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Misunderstanding arising from ignorance breeds fear,
and fear remains the greatest enemy of peace.
- Lester B. Pearson

If you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language,
that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke


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I think one of the finest gifts I can give
my friends in the holiday season is to pause
with a long enough quality to actually SEE them.
My calm, unhurried presence communicates
this gift of a message, "I see you. I recognize you.
I remember our times of together
and am contributing right now to another quality memory.
I value you and honor and take the time,
right this moment to pause long enough to truly notice you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If what is seen and experienced is portrayed
in the language of logic,
we are engaged in science.
If it is communicated through forms
whose connections are not accessible
to the conscious mind but are
recognized intuitively as meaningful,
then we are engaged in art.
- Albert Einstein

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon


 

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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