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Funny Coffin Quotes
Funny Quotes about Coffin

Let these funny Coffin Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln


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The self-assured believer is a greater sinner
in the eyes of God than the troubled disbeliever
- Soren Kierkegaard

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson


 

I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare.
I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside
but it is on the inside.
- Bono

I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono

I am firm; YOU are obstinate; HE is a pig-headed fool.
- Bertrand Russell

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates

True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead

When the tempest rages, when the thunders roar,
and the lightnings blaze around us
it is then that the truly brave man stands firm at his post.
- Luther Martin

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward,
and yet not go forward fast enough
to wreck the country's cause.
- Abraham Lincoln

'Tis the business of little minds to shrink,
but they whose heart is firm,
and whose conscience approves their conduct,
will pursue their principles unto death.
- Thomas Paine

One truth stands firm. All that happens in world history
rests on something spiritual.
If the spiritual is strong, it creates world history.
If it is weak, it suffers world history.
- Albert Schweitzer

BUILD UP YOUR CIRCLE....
A mind that perceives
What can rationally be.
A spirit that sees
Innovative possibility.
A heart that is open to
Both beginnings and ends.
A firm hand that fits readily
To the reach of a friend.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is my own firm belief that the strength of the soul
grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner

Once we doubt ourselves, success slips beyond our grasp.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

When in doubt, do it.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
- Aristotle

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Doubt is the vestibule which we all must pass through
before we can enter the temple of truth.
- Osho

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
committed people can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

My life is for living, not for worry or doubt,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire

It is not my place to doubt the sincere beliefs of others.
My job is to question my own beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers,
who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt
to offer a solution everybody can understand.
- Colin Powell

When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes

I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor,
remember what the flight attendant says,
"Put your own oxygen mask on first."
You are of no use to anyone else
if you have not taken care of your own needs first -
this includes your own emotional,
as well as physical, well-being.
In addition, your greatest value to your children,
your family, your friends, and your community
is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires
those around you to emulate your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have seen how the foundations of the world are laid,
and I have not the least doubt that it will stand a good while.
- Henry David Thoreau

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt

A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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