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Let these funny Clod Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung
Uh-oh. My past is throwing clods at my future again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill
What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare
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History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Oh yes, the past can hurt.
But, you can either run from it or, learn from it.
- the movie The Lion King
Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump
"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran
The Principal Causes of Our Suffering are
Our Past, and Our Expectations and Assumptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't project your past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere
You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future.
- Anonymous
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde
The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu
The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle
If we open a quarrel between past and present,
we shall find that we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill
The heart knows nothing of the past,
nothing of the future;
it knows only of the present.
- Osho
Fill your heart with the creative power
to accept the past,
decorate the present
and transform the future.
- Osho
Life is the future, not the past.
- Terry Goodkind
He who spends time regretting the past,
loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
- Thomas Jefferson
Gain happiness by living in the present -
without regret for the past or fear of the future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life cannot be lived fully or joyfully if
our thoughts are focused on regretting the past,
preoccupied with anticipating the future,
or lost in the mind-fog of unconscious habitual behavior.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
As in geology, so in social institutions,
we may discover the causes of all past changes
in the present invariable order of society.
- Henry David Thoreau
Training yourself to live in the present -
without regretting the past or fearing the future -
is a recipe for a happy life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past
have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
- George S. Patton
A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste
that they hurry past it.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The distinction between the past, present and future
is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
- Albert Einstein
Forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese
The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly
that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Inner peace can be reached
only when we practice forgiveness ...
letting go of the past,
and correcting our misperceptions.
- Gerald Jampolsky
Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is a great future in front of you,
you can leave your past behind.
- Joel Osteen
In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller
With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin
For time and the world do not stand still.
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
The past does not equal the future.
- Anthony Robbins
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others.
Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The lessons of the past provide the path to the future.
- Anonymous
Like a bird in flight, your life can soar
above the troubles of the world.
Breathe deep, choose, and break the shackles of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I choose not to project my past onto my future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Create your future from your future not your past.
- Werner Erhard
You change the past when you change the way you see it.
- Alan Cohen
The free world must not prove itself worthy of its own past.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
History is a relentless master.
It has no present, only the past rushing into the future.
To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
- John F. Kennedy
The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
RESPONSIBILITY: Fulfill the obligations that the past posts to me.
Embrace the opportunity for service based in love.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius
Fear not for the future,
weep not for the past.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha
Don't let the past drive life - choose life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who controls the past controls the future.
Who controls the present controls the past.
- George Orwell
Change is the law of life.
And those who look only to the past or the present
are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy
The past is no more and the future is not yet.
The only right person is one who lives moment to moment,
whose arrow is directed to the moment,
who is always here and now; wherever he is,
his whole consciousness, his whole being,
is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now.
- Osho
You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.