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Funny Claims Quotes
Funny Quotes about Claims

Let these funny Claims Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.
- William Faulkner


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I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We are born at a given moment, in a given place and,
like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year
and of the season of which we are born.
Astrology does not lay claim to anything more.
- Carl Jung


 

When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have ready access to a power beyond my wildest imagination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I am ready and willing to seize the opportunities life offers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready
for his opportunity when it comes.
- Benjamin Disraeli

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
- Buddhist Proverb

If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau

We never see what we are not ready to see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's one of life's great paradoxes ...
Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us
is critical to happiness.
Yet without a goal and commitment, life lose much of its value.
The best we can do in the face of this paradox
is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat
and ready to play again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is also something excellent in every audience,
the capacity of virtue.
They are ready to be beatified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

I must admit that I personally measure success
in terms of the contributions
an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.
- Margaret Mead

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The whole world can gossip about you,
and if you don't take it personally you are immune.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Don't take anything personally.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't take it personally -
it's not usually about you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Morality is the basis of things
and truth is the substance of all morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
- Albert Schweitzer

Compassion is the basis of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson

Aim above morality.
Be not simply good,
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To say that authority, whether secular or religious,
supplies no ground for morality
is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
- Joseph Addison

Morality is contraband in war.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Truth is certainly a branch of morality
and a very important one to society.
- Thomas Jefferson

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock

It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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