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Let these funny Chinese Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
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Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Lao Tzu (Chinese Proverb)
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb
A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
- Chinese Proverb
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
Sense the life force -
what the Chinese call "Qi" -
radiating powerfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be not afraid of growing slowly,
be afraid only of standing still.
- Chinese Proverb
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
- Chinese proverb
The beginning of wisdom is to
call things by their right names.
- Chinese proverb
Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
- Chinese proverb
Listen to all, plucking a feather
from every passing goose,
but, follow no one absolutely.
- Chinese Proverb
Never impose on others what
you would not choose for yourself.
- Confucius (Ancient Chinese)
If I keep a green bough in my heart the singing bird will come.
- Chinese proverb
If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb
I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.
- Chinese proverb
He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes.
He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
- Chinese Proverb
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb
A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
The very ink with which all history
is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- Mark Twain
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
History is written by the victors.
- Winston Churchill
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.
- Simon and Garfunkel
The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis
I have never written a book that didn't teach me
far more than it taught any reader.
- Isaac Asimov
Feel Unity with Spirit and All Creation
All things share the same breath the
beast, the tree, the man... the air
shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle [actually written by screenwriter Ted Perry in 1972]
It is a fact often observed,
that men have written good verses
under the inspiration of passion,
who cannot write well under other circumstances.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.