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Let these funny Buttons Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat,
Push Your Buttons,
Get You Riled Up,
or Annoy You.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
- Mark Twain
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
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Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
Curiosity keeps one young - in thought and in action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau
Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka
Every moment wasted looking back
keeps us from moving forward.
- Hilary Clinton
We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney
As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez
What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions;
it is easy in solitude to live after your own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
My coat and I live comfortably together.
It has assumed all my wrinkles, does not hurt me anywhere,
has moulded itself on my deformities,
and is complacent to all my movements,
and I only feel its presence because it keeps me warm.
Old coats and old friends are the same thing.
- Victor Hugo
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle
than the courage of a final moment;
but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.
- John F. Kennedy
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression
and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
You have a choice about the perspective you take on life.
See tragedy, and the world is tragic -
see beauty, and the world is beautiful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.