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Let these funny Bowlines Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions
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A man who views the world the same at fifty
as he did at twenty
has wasted thirty years of his life.
- Muhammad Ali
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say
there are twenty gods or no God.
- Thomas Jefferson
At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin
My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong
The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I am not the Catholic candidate for President.
I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President,
who happens also to be a Catholic.
- John F. Kennedy
I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Oh, that lovely title, ex-president.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I look forward to these confrontations with the press
to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things
that come to me as president.
- Jimmy Carter
In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Campaign behavior for wives:
Always be on time.
Do as little talking as humanly possible.
Lean back in the parade car
so everybody can see the president.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.
- William J. Clinton
Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter
We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter
Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln
The being of our mothers is forever branded onto our own being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers.
- Jewish Proverb
Men are what their mothers made them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill
Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
There is sanctuary in being alone with nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Face the facts of being what you are,
for that is what changes what you are.
- Soren Kierkegaard
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honor your being,
Release each and every struggle,
Gather strength from life's storms,
Relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco
I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.